The last days of maternity leave can be complicated. You might find yourself constantly checking the calendar, feeling a mix of emotions every time you look at your little one’s face, and experiencing the surprising flutter of excitement (immediately followed by guilt) at the thought of adult conversation and hot coffee. 

It’s no surprise that many mothers feel emotional about returning to work after having a baby. And these emotional aspects of returning to work can catch many parents off guard. We spend so much time preparing the practical details - childcare arrangements, pump schedules, backup plans - that it’s easy to forget to prepare our hearts for this major life transition. After all, we’re biologically programmed to form intense bonds with our tiny humans. Any kind of separation from them in the early days is naturally challenging.

Three Emotional Aspects of This Life Change:

The Heart Rollercoaster
Most parents find themselves riding waves of conflicting feelings about returning to work. You might experience intense sadness when thinking about being away from your baby. You may also feel unexpected excitement about talking to other grown-ups about things other than spit-up and diapers. This emotional tug-of-war is completely normal.

The Surprising Feelings
If you’ve been dreading the return to work, you might be caught off guard by feelings of relief at the thought of having more time to yourself. You might feel guilty about wanting to get back to your professional identity. These complex emotions don't make you any less devoted to your little one. In fact, it’s beneficial for children to have parents that are fulfilled in their roles outside of parenting. 

The Guilt Factor
Why is it so hard not to feel guilty when you head back to work after maternity leave? Working mother guilt is so common it could practically be considered a rite of passage. The good news is, children of working parents can thrive just the same as children who have a stay-at-home parent. In fact, the amount of time spent together isn’t what matters most when it comes to parent-child relationships. And try a change in mindset; guilt can be reframed. Instead of letting guilt consume you (which can lead to not being able to be emotionally present when you are with your baby), try shifting your perspective. Remember your reasons for working, focus on the positive impacts on your child, and create special rituals for connection during your time together. 

8 Tips for your Back-To-Work Transition:

Tip 1: Focus on quality over quantity
The quality of your interactions with your littles matters far more than the quantity of time spent together. Time spent intentionally engaging with your child (like turning off your phones and really being present) is highly important to their development. Learning how to set boundaries with your workplace, making career choices that help you feel personally fulfilled and valued, and focusing on quality interactions with your kids are some of the most impactful things you can do as a working parent. 

Tip 2: Give yourself permission to feel anxiety
Some worry is natural when returning to work after a baby. However, if you’re experiencing intense anxiety, persistent "what-if" thoughts, or physical symptoms like changes in sleep or appetite, it might be time to seek some outside support. Postpartum anxiety and depression are common, treatable, and nothing to be ashamed of. Your doctor or mental health professional can provide support to help you navigate this transition. 

Tip 3: Professional growth can actually help parenting
Working outside the home can provide mental stimulation and career advancement that benefits your family. It can also model independence for your little ones. Many parents find that maintaining their professional identity helps them feel more fulfilled and energized for the moments they get to spend with their kids. Despite the challenges of being a working parent, many parents find joy in their dual roles.

Tip 4: Build a home cadence of meaningful moments
Quality connection that builds secure attachment can happen in small moments like morning cuddles, bedtime rituals, and weekend adventures. These precious interactions matter deeply to your little one's development. It's these meaningful moments, not the number of hours spent together, that shape our children. 

Tip 5: Carve out small spaces for yourself, even with the extra career tasks
Between the demands of your career and time spent with your growing baby, it's easy to forget about taking care of yourself. Remember that maintaining small moments of self-care isn't selfish. It’s actually necessary! Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. You could sit and enjoy your coffee for five minutes before the house wakes up, take an actual lunch break at work, or fit in a quick walk between meetings. When you make time to recharge, you’ll start to model important lessons about self-worth and healthy boundaries to your little person.

Tip 6: Communicate with your partner
Set regular check-ins with your partner about emotions and needs, maintain an open dialogue with your childcare provider, and have honest conversations with your supervisor about boundaries. Don't be afraid to express your needs or have uncomfortable conversations. This transition is rough on all parties – and you want everyone in the family to succeed.

Tip 7: Set Realistic Boundaries
If you can, establish work hours that respect your family time and create realistic expectations for yourself. Sometimes this means saying no to non-essential commitments, and that's okay. Your little one needs you to be present and engaged more than they need you to say yes to every opportunity.

Tip 8: Build Your Village
Connecting with other working parents who understand your journey can help when things get tough and you need support. If you need help getting started, check for local parent groups, online communities, or workplace networks. Sharing experiences with others who "get it" can be incredibly validating. 

The journey is different for each family. But each mother finds her own rhythm, develops new routines, and grows more confident in navigating both worlds. So take the leap and know your little one will thrive - and so will you.